Sandbox Blog

Don't Share That iTunes Plus Song!!

2007-05-31T13:15:00.001-04:00

Before you share that new song you got DRM-free from iTunes plus, think it over first. Sure, you can now download music from the iTunes store without DRM but that doesn't mean you should just willy nilly start sharing that music with your friends, your account information is embedded into that m4a music file.

read more | digg story

DCCC re-opened yesterday but...

2007-05-03T09:58:00.000-04:00

DCCC students will be welcomed to the post-VTech college campus. I hope the students don't have a lot of books to carry, because they are out of luck without backpacks. Doesn't this administration know that if all the students were allowed to carry guns then any attempt to create a catastrophe could be eliminated immediately? sheesh.

Taken from the DCCC main page:

There will be a visible police presence at all campuses, in addition to the College’s existing Security officers. Access to all campuses will be limited. Anyone reporting to any College location is not permitted to bring bags, backpacks or other parcels into our buildings. Clear plastic bags may be used to carry personal items. Random searches will be conducted and metal detectors will be utilized. All students and College employees will be called upon to remain vigilant and report suspicious behavior on the part of any individual to College Security or the police immediately.

I've found the coffin of Jesus, says film director | News | This is London

2007-02-26T16:17:00.000-05:00

I've found the coffin of Jesus, says film director | News | This is London

A Hollywood director will today unveil three coffins he claims were those of Jesus, his mother Mary and his 'wife' Mary Magdalene.

James Cameron says he has proof that Jesus married Mary and that she bore him a son, Judah, who was buried alongside them.

Things Other People Accomplished When They Were Your Age

2007-02-25T17:46:00.000-05:00

Want to feel worthless? Just plug in your age.

Things Other People Accomplished When They Were Your Age

My adorable great-niece

2007-02-25T15:48:00.000-05:00

I love this picture.

"I'm a PC and I'm a Mac" - circa 1996!

2007-02-21T09:07:00.001-05:00

This is a detailed Mac user vs. PC user comparison from the September 1996 issue of MacAddict. It doesn't look a lot different from the "I'm a PC and I'm a Mac" Apple ads of today.

read more | digg story

Men's Room Personalities

2007-02-19T16:43:00.000-05:00

I think you can learn a lot about a guy by what he does in the men’s room. Of course I don’t sit and watch a guy take a piss, but sometimes you notice things that you can’t help but notice.

- The guy who pisses really close to the urinal: This guy looks like he’s trying to stick his penis into some hole in the urinal. He doesn’t want anyone to get a peek at him by accident but his general stature makes him get unwanted looks anyway because it looks so unnatural.
- The guy who doesn’t use any hands to piss: This guy is multi-tasking. While taking a piss, he has his hands free to put on his hips or to make dinner. I think you need a very large flaccid penis to do this, because I find it impossible to pee like this without pulling down my pants all the way. If I don’t hold my underwear back, I’ll splash urine all over the place.
- The guy who puts his hand on the wall in front of him when he pisses: This guy makes peeing look like a painful event. It looks like he's passing a stone or something. He’s also very brave because I’m not touching anything in a public bathroom that I don’t have to, especially the wall behind a urinal.
- The guy who pees two feet away from the urinal: This guy is the complete opposite of the first guy. He likes it to all hang out and doesn’t care what other guys think. I think you need a large penis for this too, because 1. you have to be able to have enough length to actually hit the urinal, and 2. you wouldn’t be letting it hang out if you were embarrassed about your size.
- The guy who whistles while taking a piss: I hate this guy. He’s always so god-damn happy and worst of all thinks that everyone will enjoy his rendition of The Andy Griffith Show theme. Usually people don’t. He’ll get an eye-roll from me if we come face-to-face.
- The guy who wants to talk to you while you’re going to the bathroom: I don’t like this guy either. Starting a conversation with a guy while both your dicks are out is not the way to go. Someone not as understanding as me would take exception to that sort of thing. The bathroom is not for talking, especially a men’s bathroom.
- The guy who shakes his dick 20 times before he’s done: Not only is this unnecessary, but it makes the people in back of him wait longer in line. Three shakes is all it takes – hey, what a great poem that would be!

SIRIUS, XM SET TO CONFIRM MERGER PLAN TODAY

2007-02-19T10:21:00.001-05:00

Satellite radio operators Sirius and XM are expected to announce their long-awaited merger today, according to a source familiar with the deal. The two sides were locked in negotiations over the weekend trying to hammer out a final agreement with an eye toward going public with the merger today in Washington, D.C., where XM is based...

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Sounding off on "Sound Off"

2007-02-16T11:53:00.000-05:00

Written exclusively for the "I Live in Delaware County" blog

If you live in Delaware County (and I assume you do) and have read the Daily Times, you have probably seen the "Sound Off" section. Sound Off is supposed to be a part of the paper that gives a chance for the "people" to speak. The problem with that concept, however, is that the average person is completely stupid and misinformed and basically just wants to read their messages in the paper the next day. I have noticed over the past 2 years or so that Sound Off is more of a forum to trash whatever political party the caller is against. I have a feeling though that it was always filled with tacky complaints revolving around misinformation or just plain ignorance. While some of these rants are comical, most can be categorized as eye-rollers. I'll use a few of the February 16th, 2007 Sound Off calls as everyday examples of how this section of the paper is sometimes completely unreadable.

Who's in Charge?: "Is there anyone in charge of the asylum? Who is supposed to be watching our tax money in Harrisburg? They're just filling their own pockets, this way and that way. Who's in charge?" Ok...what exactly are you talking about? Filling their own pockets in what way (besides this and that)? Who's in charge of what? My guess is this is someone who just found out they owe $15 income tax to the state and don't understand why they should have to pay "them".

Bumps for everyone: "....Brookhaven residents...want speed bumps (on Trimble Blvd)...I have another recommendation. Put them on the turnpike and Blue Route to slow down people up there also" Here's a common theme in Sound off. People in a town want something done, person in another town compares it to his town's own problems. Here's the problem with his advice - it's completely stupid. Besides wrecking your vehicle and causing severe backups for miles along 476, what will speed bumps accomplish? I'm assuming this person is only kidding (ha ha, good one). I hope.

A straight shooter: "I know Mayor C. Scott Shields. He...doesn't care if you are gay...(he) has a problem with gays demanding privileges and protections that the rest of us don't get...Talk to him, read his articles or watch him on TV..." Ok...I really thought I was out of the loop, because I had no idea who C. Scott Shields was. Turns out he's the mayor of....Rutledge. I had no idea Rutledge had this kind of gay uprising! He's also a lawyer, so I'm assuming it's $250 per hour to talk to him, and for some reason I've never been able to catch him on TV (could be because he's the mayor of...Rutledge). What exactly are the gays asking for that "we" don't get? I'm guessing that the caller wouldn't be able to give me a good example anyway.

Rush to Idiocy: "....Rush Limbaugh...feels the need to express his opinions about...Rex Grossman, Chicago's quarterback....Let me tell you a secret Rush...if you're good you're good and if you stink you stink" Ahh...I'm trying to figure out why I would care. You are calling a local newspaper to complain about a radio host, not even from the region, because you don't like him commenting on the NFL? Get a life. I'm not a big Rush fan either (well ok, at all), but when you nitpick, you nitpick.

This isn't to say that every single Sound Off item is horrible. There were some in today's paper thanking people for help or commenting on current events without sounding completely dumb. I would like the Daily Times to have an Internet-style sound off - a message board where you can say whatever you want, but with the opportunity of others to call you out on it. It may lead to a lot of hurt feelings, but it will also allow someone to think twice about what they are complaining about.

Water so clear it boggles the mind

2007-02-12T15:44:00.001-05:00

A single boat seemingly floats in midair in the beautiful crystal clear beaches in the Republic of Maldives in the Indian Ocean.

read more | digg story

Mchale learning to fly

2007-02-02T16:50:00.001-05:00

34.jpg
Originally uploaded by whmchale.

My great-nephew behind the controls of his grandpa's plane.

Presidential Pussy

2006-11-22T00:02:00.001-05:00

You know...even though her father is a freaking idiot, Barbara Bush is just way hot.

5 Worst Intersections in Delco

2006-04-05T12:11:00.000-04:00

Written for http://www.totallydelco.com/blog

I don't drive a lot. In fact, I hate to drive. However, I have lived in different parts of the Delaware County throughout my life and have seen my share of bad roadway intersections in our great county. Below is a list of the ones I hate the most, either due to heavy traffic, poor layout, or they are just simply hazardous. Please feel free to list your own since I haven't been to every street in the area and therefore don't know every single one.

#5 - 5 points - Aston

I never really had a problem with 5 points myself, and I've driven it hundreds of times. I can see how the layout would confuse some people though, and adding a new park right on one of the corners won't help with traffic flow any.

#4 - 452 and Route 1 - Middletown, PA

This intersection is more of an annoyance rather than a danger. Making a left onto 452 from Route 1 during rush hour will net you a 3-4 light wait. Traffic also backs up a lot on 452 during the evening rush hour.

#3 - Route 252 and Route 3 - Newtown Square, Pa

I know this intersection very well and it's a total nightmare. There's heavy traffic coming from the Blue Route going to West Chester on one end, and heavy 252 traffic from DCCC/Media going to the Main Line on the other. Factor in people making left hand turns blocking some lanes and this intersection qualifies as one of the worse.

#2 - Route 1 and Sproul Road - Springfield, Pa

The map image says it all. Heavy traffic combined with people getting off/on Route 1 and then having to merge with Route 1 traffic in of the off-ramp which turns into a race to avoid getting stuck in the outer lane. Getting onto 320 is ok, getting onto Route 1 is horrible.

and the #1 worse intersection - Route 252 and Route 1 Media Bypass - Media, Pa

Horrible. Not only is this intersection congested beyond belief from an explosion of new housing in the area, but the layout is totally ridiculous. Good luck turning left onto 252 from Route 1 coming from Springfield, because I'm not letting you through. It seems that people can't follow traffic laws on this strip of road, and many accidents happen as a result. This intersection needs some serious review by the traffic engineers at PennDot.

We will never forget

2005-09-10T22:09:00.000-04:00

I was at work when the mayhem started. Mayhem is really the only word to describe September 11th, when the U.S. woke up from it's "it'll never happen here" slumber and felt what some European, African, and Asian countries probably feel every day: hour to hour uncertain despair. The kind of despair which makes you think "what will happen next?"

We will never forget.

I will never forget refreshing the CNN website at work, trying to get any piece of information I could about a couple of planes crashing into the World Trade Center buildings, the Pentagon, and in my home state of Pennsylvania. I will never forget the anger I felt when I learned some Islamic extremists used innocent lives as part of plane-missiles to crash into buildings where thousands of people worked everyday. I will never forget wanting to join the armed forces that day, so I could be on the first plane with a gun in my hand and a chip on my shoulder, I wanted someone dead for this. I will never forget watching TV at my parent's house after getting off of work early and tearing up while seeing people jumping hundreds of feet to their deaths, rather than be burned alive. I'm sure hell offers better choices. The images of the planes hitting the buildings and exploding on impact, like a scene out of a Hollywood movie, is something I will never forget. I will never forget the images of white dust several inches deep from the burned office furniture, bricks and people, all around the main streets of Manhattan and all over the people staggering on the street, not sure where the hell they were, or what the hell was going on. I will never forget the other reports, although mostly false, of other, smaller attacks, throughout the country. Each one adding to the feeling of uneasiness. I will never forget the sound of jets planes over head, not transporting people, but ready to destroy any person or object that was deemed a threat. I will never forget the people looking for lost friends or family members on the streets of New York, holding up pictures and posters of their loved ones, holding out for hope. Sadly, most of them never saw their loved ones again. I remember waking up the next day, not believing that this shit actually happened, not wanting to believe it actually happened.

We will never forget.

I will never forget.

Orleans County, LA (New Orleans City) 2004 Presidential Election Results

2005-09-04T22:16:00.000-04:00

No commentary, just information.

D John KERRY - 77%

R George BUSH - 22%

I Ralph NADER - 1%

Useless Observations

2005-08-23T16:08:00.000-04:00

I'm in a Seinfeld kinda mood. This is the kind of stuff in my head, scary.

- Why is it that someone will almost cut you off to be first at a red light and then go 5 miles per hour when the light turns green?

- Ever notice that fast food places and supermarkets have the worse music playing? It's like they couldn't afford to use the good songs so they had to use the 'B' side of the album.

- I wonder if people had 'telegraph sex' in Abraham Lincoln's day. You know, one hand on the telegraph, sending out the signals, the other hand somewhere else while reading the signals coming in?

- And what's the deal with airline food?... Oh wait, that's Jerry's bit.

- Why must kids turn around in their seat in a restaurant and watch me eat?

- Why does Baskin-Robbins have 31 flavors when only 5 of them look edible?

- When you say hello on a phone, are you asking a question, or giving a greeting?

- Why does Radio Shack ask you for everything but your medical records when you buy batteries?

- When a cat sheds on the couch, is it correct to call them pussy hairs? - ha! I crack myself up

- You ever notice no one ever reads the help file when they can't figure something out on the computer?

- I wonder if the dark glasses that blind people wear have prescriptions in them.

- If someone can't find the remote, chances are they will watch the same channel, even if they hate the show that's on, rather than get up and change it.

- Why do some restaurants insist that their waitresses not write down food orders?

- How the hell can there be that many chickens around to lay eggs AND be part of dinner.

Catholic vs. Public School

2005-08-22T12:11:00.000-04:00

Grade school is probably the single-most important thing in a child's learning development. Most of the things they learn in the first two grades are with them for the rest of their lives. I want my children to not only learn these things that they will need in life, I also want them to learn intangibles as well: discipline, respect, and a love for learning. I think the best place for my child to learn this is in Catholic school.

I'm sure there are many great public schools around. I'm sure that you think Catholic schools are over-rated, but standardized testing data says otherwise. I just think that when it comes to teacher-student attention and expectations on a student to succeed, Catholic schools just come out on top. As with anything else, where are you going to get better service, from a private company or a state-run company? There's no question.

My wife, on the other hand, doesn't see the same need as I do for it. I think her main point is money. She just does not want to make the sacrifice to send our kid(s) to Catholic school. My parents made the sacrifice. They didn't have a lot of money, but still got a loan to pay for my high school education. They knew how important a Catholic education was in terms of learning and discipline. There are less drugs and fewer teen pregnancies in Catholic schools. Her other point is the whole religion thing. I guess she thinks that the school will turn our kids into mindless drones preaching about God at the dinner table, and telling us how Sister Bethany told them to reject satan. This is just not the case.

Everything I learned in life is somehow connected to my time spent in Catholic school. Would I have to same education in public school? I doubt it. I'm not saying they teach different things, but if I didn't have the fear of getting in trouble with the nuns for not doing my homework or for fooling around, I probably would not have paid attention as much and learned a lot less. If I didn't have to memorize 20 vocabulary words a night or have to know every kind of structure for an English sentence, I would probably not have the communication skills I do today. My high school was an all-boys school. I couldn't imagine if I went to a co-ed public school when I was teen - I would get lost in a girl's cleavage every day!

I'm sure many disagree with me, and that's fine. I only know from my own experience. Many people who go to Catholic school can't stand it, but I think they have instilled values in me that I have to this day. Some people just hate the uniforms, but you realistically have to look past that. Maybe it's just that the public schools in my area are all horrible. I'm not saying that my kids should go to a Catholic high school, but certainly they should go for grades 1-8, then they can decide which high school to go themselves.

When did I become so ....blah?

2005-08-17T11:42:00.000-04:00

"Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser. And in a way, they're right. I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what, but I know I didn't always feel this...sedated. But you know what? It's never too late to get it back." - Lester in American Beauty.

I can relate a lot to the dad in American Beauty. I mean, when did I become so...sedated? How did 10 years just pass right by me without even a chance to sit down and reflect? I'm so soft now: in my body, my opinions, and my zest for life. I feel like I've lost something, a spark, an attitude. I used to be this ultra-liberal, anything goes kind of guy, now my thinking is more conservative and my attitude has turned into 'ahh, who gives a crap' instead of challenging something. My panic disorder hit me really hard, it's a shame. He's right though, it's never too late to get it back.

Quotes of my educated President

2005-08-16T12:18:00.000-04:00

I can just imagine his speech writers beating their heads into the wall after he says these kinds of things. Hey, I didn't vote for him, I voted for Gore AND Kerry...

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."

"I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in LA, my answer has been direct & simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."

"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that George Bush may or may not make."

"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."

"I think we can agree. The past is over"

"I have learned from mistakes I may or may not have made."

"It was just inebriating what Midland was all about then." [An alky's Freudian slip for Exhilarating]

"It's clearly the budget. It has a lot of numbers on it."

"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case."

"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"

"Like your neighbor just like you like to be liked yourself."

"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?" "Laura & I really don't realize how bright our children is."

"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California."

"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."

"I propose that every city have a telephone number 119 -- for dyslexics who have an emergency."

"There ought to be limits to freedom." [said in support of his handlers' legal efforts to shut down parody websites]

Cut or uncut - the debate

2005-08-15T08:49:00.000-04:00

For those of you in or have had long relationships, did you ever get that feeling that somewhere down the road that circumcision was a fight waiting to happen? The whole circumcised vs non-circumcised argument is sure to happen in my household if we ever have a boy.

The Catholic Church, as well as many others, demands that all newborn boys be circumcised.
Jewish people make an event out of it. I know many of you can come up with several reasons for this (looks cleaner, better, etc.), and I can come up with as many reason not to, but as a man, I think that I should of had the option to say yay or nay on this one.

If God made everything, including sex organs, isn't it perfect already? Why are we chopping two or more inches of extra-sensitive skin away when the whole procedure is useless? Many people will say that it prevents disease. No, I don't think so. The disease comes with not washing that area right and letting the disease breed. I mean christ, what the hell did they do 5,000 years ago? I don't remember reading about an outbreak of genital warts among cavemen and women.

If a guy, say we start around 13 or 14, decides that he wants that piece of skin cut off, then by all means, he can get it done. But is it really right for parents to decide that for them? Whenever I ask my wife why she would want that done, she can't give a real answer, she just says that everyone does it and that he should be like his daddy down there so he won't feel different. Umm, that doesn't work for me. Plus, I happen to like the way an uncircumcised penis looks. I've never seen one up close, but I've seen enough porn to know the difference.

Look, you don't just fool around with a knife down there for no reason. One wrong slip and that kid has a scar there for life. I'm sure he'll remember to thank you while he?s self-conscious about taking his pants down for any reason. The truth is, this is just one big out-dated biblical passage that people took too seriously. Maybe in the time of Noah it was the style to be clipped, but I think it has worn out its welcome. This sort of procedure should be done personally, not religiously.

When I get old and losing my hair...

2005-08-12T10:16:00.000-04:00

One of the fears I have while getting older is losing my hair. My dad is bald, and he has been since as long as I can remember. My hair contributes to about 60% of my total looks. Since I am 31 now, I know I will start losing hair eventually. So what do I do? I have many options to try out, since hair loss has been studied for hundreds of years. I don't want to take preventative medicine, like Rogain, because I fear it will somehow make my hair fall out due to some side effect or something, plus it will probably have some sort of smell to it. It's not only I think having a bald spot will make me look less attractive, but also much older. Would I wear a hair piece? I really don't want to, people can pick those out a mile a way and the person who has one just ends up being joked about behind his back. However, I know I would be desperate and try anything. I think I would have to go with the totally shaved look, going with the concept that if I don't have hair on top of my head, I won't have it anywhere on my head. I've been lucky so far, I could have gone bald long ago.

I hate being a perfectionist!

2005-08-11T10:33:00.000-04:00

The worse feeling in the world is getting a call or an email from your client saying that something was wrong with the work you just did for them. I take every call like that very personally, and I sit and worry that they will find more mistakes, or that my mistake has somehow led to extra work and embarrassment when my clients' clients find out about it. That's the bad part of being a perfectionist. It has done me no good being one either. It is a main cause of my panic disorder and is the reason why when I get home from work, I look at my work email to make sure there isn't any problems with something I just sent out. I wouldn't say I'm not confident in my work, I am for the most part, but mistakes sometimes shake my confidence and cause me to worry about stuff they may or may not have happened.

Everyone makes mistakes, and that includes the people I work for, but the feeling I have of somehow letting people down who depend on me to be right is something that is hard for me to shake. I guess the really scary part for me is that I wonder how/why I didn't catch the mistake in the first place. That's the part that always worries me. What if I've been doing that the whole time??, stuff like that goes through my head and breeds insanity constantly thinking about it. On a strange and related note, I had a dream last night where I'm at work and my office manager is doing some sort of calculation (something really simple) and I think it's wrong, so I do it my way. Then I see that in fact, I'm wrong, and I don't say a word, because I know that every single job I have every done was checked the same way, and it was wrong.
OCD and being a perfectionist is who I am, and something that even Zoloft can't change.

Things people do that annoy me

2005-08-10T14:28:00.000-04:00

- People who make a left turn into my lane, causing me to stomp on the brakes.
- People who send spam emails.
- People who give up easily.
- People who say they are close to "ending it all" on here. Come on, there are people out there a lot worse off than you are.
- Pop-up and Pop-under ads.
- People who have no idea how to handle a problem.
- People who WrItE LiKE tHiS.
- People who drive slow in the left lane.
- People who don't give you a wave when you let them in.
- People who don't say thanks when you hold open a door.
- People who curse at me under their breath - hello, i'm right here, you got something to say, say it!
- Telemarketers
- People who have no clue what's going on in the world.
- People who don't want to improve themselves.
- Cashiers who don't say to have a nice day.
- People who have a half page signature on their emails.
- People talking on cell phones in the rest room. This flush is for you, I hope they can hear it.
- Snobby people.
- 12 year old hackers
- People who don't call you back or write you back.
- People who whine.
- People who make stupid lists like this.

My Theme Song

2005-04-29T09:14:00.000-04:00

You want to know what I'm really like? This song describes about 90% of my character. If people had a theme song, this would probably be mine. Under my cheery exterior lies a fortress that is hard to get by.

I am a Rock

Simon and Garfunkel

A winter's day, in a deep and dark December, I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below.
On (a) freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock, I am an island.

I've built walls, A fortress deep and mighty, That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock, I am an island.

Don't talk of love, but I've heard the words before,
It's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.

I am a rock, I am an island.

I have my books, and my poetry to protect me,
I am shielded in my armor, Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock, I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries.

The day that changed my life forever

2005-04-21T14:35:00.000-04:00

It seemed innocent enough. We had got high a couple of times before, and tonight since we were bored we'd do it again. It wasn't to be "cool" and it wasn't because of peer pressure. I was 19 and my friend and I didn't have anything else better to do. As we did mostly every night, we started walking the streets. This time we were lucky enough to have pot on us and bought cigars to use the cigar wrappers as joints (I didn't care for bongs). While we walked, we took hits and got high.

I don't know when I started to space out, or when I stopped hearing my friend's voice, and I swear to you I don't remember talking back to him for at least a half a mile. I was in my own little world. Then all of a sudden, *BANG* I felt like I was floating and being lifted up to heaven. I remember thinking that I must be dead, and this is what it feels like to be dead. My feet, however, felt like anchors holding me down and my head felt like a balloon, wanting to float up into the sky. I thought it was going to explode from the pressure. I looked over at my friend and couldn't see him straight - I couldn't see anything straight. My first thought was that I was going crazy and then - no - I thought I was going to die from something in the pot. My heart was pounding, I felt disconnected from my body and I couldn't feel my legs. This had never happened before.

I went home and went straight to my room. I was hyperventilating and I had to use my air conditioner to help me breathe. When I couldn't take not seeing right anymore, I told my mom that I needed to get to the hospital and I was checked into the emergency room. I remember the doctor telling my horrified mother that the bed had restraints in case they were needed. I thought that was funny and scary at the same time. They could find nothing wrong with me, and no other drugs in my system and I was released.

The next few weeks (years) was pure hell for me. After the pot wore off, I still felt disconnected from my body and still had heart palpitations and would have massive, incredibly scaring panic attacks that no one could possibly understand. I stayed in my room most of the time and slept because sleeping was an escape from the mental pain and because my mind was exhausted from the constant pressure. I wanted to sleep forever, literally.

I wish I could tell you that all of this just went away, but it hasn't. It's a beast that's still inside of me, weakened by anti-anxiety medication - but it's still there. Millions of people suffer from panic disorder and panic attacks. A large percentage of those will only have one or two in their lifetime, but for people like me, there are 3 options - get help, live with it, or kill yourself. Many people just can't live with it.

I'm not saying to stay away from drugs. I liked getting high. I would probably still be doing it if this didn't happen (although pot DOES make you stupid). I'm just saying that sometimes drugs open a part of your mind, whether it's a creative side, a dark side or a mental illness that you never knew about. This is something I live with day to day. I'm not "crazy" because I have to take prescription drugs for my illness, I'm crazy naturally. My advice for people who think they might have this is to get help. There is no reason to live with the constant anxiety and worrying that you are going crazy or going to die.

Signs of a panic attack

racing heartbeat

difficulty breathing, feeling as though you 'can't get enough air'

terror that is almost paralyzing

dizziness, lightheadedness or nausea

trembling, sweating, shaking

choking, chest pains

hot flashes, or sudden chills

tingling in fingers or toes ('pins and needles')

fear that you're going to go crazy or are about to die

Google - starting to set standards

2005-04-06T16:31:00.000-04:00

Google is truly an incredible company. Despite being in a dog-fight for web searching superiority with Yahoo and now Microsoft, Google continues to set new standards in web technology and information retrieval. Now everyone must catch up to them. Google recently unveiled it's map feature. It's a totally interactive web application that needs no special software to use and is so fast and powerful that you could spend an hour or so just dragging a map around with your cursor to see which roads lead to where. It also offers Mapquest-like driving directions and a detailed view of each turn you make on the way. Even though the map is still beta as of this entry, Google now provides a satellite service on top of the mapping. With this service, you can actually see your house from space. Microsoft has had this capability for a few years now, but it is buried in their site and not at all as user-friendly or current as the Google version. You can actually drag the satellite picture around with the mouse and see your whole city from space - that's hot.

I don't know why I love this company so much - I just do. My gmail account now has 2 gigs (!) of space, and they say that even more storage space is on the way. How can anyone not like that? If I didn't think their stock price was so over-valued (ever hear of a stock split guys?), I'd be investing in them right now. The site that hosts this blog is also owned by Google - they are Microsoft's biggest challenge in the next 5 years.

Webhost4life - make it never

2005-03-31T23:24:00.000-05:00

I put considerable time looking for a Windows host that wasn't too expensive and provided me with ASP.net and MSSQL. I decided on M6.com, but their buggy in-house control panel and my inability to access much needed IIS properties caused me to look elsewhere. Webhost4life was recommended by several people in different forums, so I decided to go with them.

Webhost4life started out great. Their control panel was superb and gave me options to automatically install some of the most popular (and up-to-date) ASP.net applications out there; however, they didn't have a blog application. My first choice for a blog was .Text, so I downloaded it and tried to set it up. After a half-hearted attempt to make it work, I tried to get support to help me through it. They offered to install it - for $20. It was then I should have known something was up. You see, in exchange for an ok price for hosting ($9.95 per month, but only with 300 mb of space and a few other restrictions), WH4L nickel and dimes their customers for any little service they want done. Want to add a domain to a subfolder? $15. Add a redirection? $5, and so on.

I chose the add redirection for my other domain. Since there was no link to pay for it, I figured it came out of my pre-paid amount. A couple of weeks later, I logged into the control panel and was faced with an annoying red box , telling me that my account would be suspended in a few days if I didn't pay them the grimy $5 NOW. I dutifully paid the $5 and figured that it was done with. The next day I get the same box, with the same message. To make a long story short, after 5 support tickets and a threat of legal action if my account was suspended in any way, WH4L finally acknowledged that they received my payment - 5 days later.

I'm going to keep this host for the next year since I pre-paid for the entire year; however, I'll certainly be looking for another, better one next year. I promised them that I would not add any more additional services since I didn't want to cause any more problems. I feel that if a hosting company is going to charge small sums for every automated little action that a majority of hosts provide for free, they should at least acknowledge that you indeed did pay for it. WH4L's sorry habit of intimidating people with threats of suspension to pay for these services right away is one of the most unprofessional things I've ever witnessed for a web host. Do you want to be a professional host or a fly-by-night operation? You can't have it both ways.

School shooter was on Prozac

2005-03-24T15:04:00.000-05:00

'The clues were all there' / School shooter depicted as deeply disturbed, ignored teen

You know, if those kids were allowed to carry guns around, instead of having to go through metal detectors, and they all had Prozac to take as well, maybe they could have stopped this senseless shooting right when it began to happen. I mean, then it would have been a level playing field right? Alas, these gun control zealots and anti-drug proponents are putting people's lives in danger.

Looking for a few good programmers

2005-03-22T13:51:00.000-05:00

Campaign Manager 2006 is currently looking for two types of programmers:

- 2 VB.NET programmers with at least 1.5+ years programming in VB.NET and know what a class is.

- 1 Flash programmer who is familiar with using a database with Flash and thinks they can make an interactive map.

Only SERIOUS people need apply. Please review the source code at: http://sourceforge.net/projects/cmpmgr (use the branch "Don" in the CVS), to decide for yourself if you would like to contribute. If you do, please contact me or Project Manager Andrew Martin.

Don't blame me, I voted for the other guy

2005-03-21T11:29:00.000-05:00

Only so many hours in a day

2005-03-19T23:52:00.000-05:00

It's a problem that every worthy programmer runs into - you want to learn so much, but there is only so much time. There are so many things I want to learn - the data abilities of XML, the ease of creating a site with ASP.NET, the amazing speed and coding ability of PHP and its interaction with mySQL. I have bought books on every one of these topics in the past 2 weeks, but still haven't gotten a chance to open them. I still have 2 issues of MSDN magazine that I have yet to read, and about 10 of this other IT magazine that I get free every week. I want to study and take the exam to be certified in VB.NET. There just isn't enough time though. I do have a job, and must work 40 hours per week. I have obligations with my Sourceforge projects. I want to add content and customize this website and my other one, but I also just bought a house less than a year ago and need to work on that. One day I hope we'll be able to buy books on cards and just insert them into a slot in our brain, instantly getting all the information. Only then, as T.S. Eliot says, "There will be time, there will be time".

Robert Blake - the white man's OJ

2005-03-16T02:17:00.000-05:00

Ok, so let me get this alibi straight - forgive me for not having this down completely, I didn't watch the trial. Robert Blake goes to a restaurant with his wife and brings a gun. For some reason, this restaurant knows he's carrying a gun, and he has to give it to them to hold. On the way back to the car after the meal, Blake slaps his head and says to his wife, "gosh, I left my gun at the restaurant, wait here in the car alone in this unsafe neighborhood while I go back to get it. We aren't going to drive there, because that would make too much sense and I want to be gone long enough for something to happen." Blake comes back to the car some time later and whoops, his wife is dead!
A jury found this story believable, Robert Blake was found not guilty. Think of it as one for the white folks. A decision like this was only fair after the OJ Simpson trial. In the quest for racial fairness, Robert Blake's jury leveled the playing field for insanity. I mean, what good is a 10 million dollar defense if you're going to lose, right?
Next up...Mr. Jackson

Not too many 'oops' with Xoops

2005-03-16T02:16:00.000-05:00

I finally got FreakingIdiot.com back up and running. As opposed to this site, FreakingIdiot is run on PHP and mySQL using Xoops. Not surprisingly, the PHP version of portal hosting is much more flexible and easier to use then its ASP.NET counter-part. Although there are still some errors floating around, they don't bring the site to a crashing halt (they also aren't handled very well code-wise either, just like .NET portals). Xoops is easy to use and customize. It also has a few hundred different add-ons and a lot of newsgroup and website forum support and information. I believe that a CMS like DotNetNuke will one day become a great product, but most of the PHP script portals certainly outshine anything that has been coded in ASP.NET. Too bad I don't know much about PHP scripting though - my knowledge in that area is weak at best.

Can't someone make an open source portal that has better error and exception handling?

Sofie is Justin's daughter!?

2005-03-14T02:14:00.000-05:00

Only 2 episodes left for HBO's Carnivale (I know, I'm the only one who watches it). The 3/13 episode was one of the most gruesome/exciting yet, when we learned that Brother Justin raped Appy 20+ years ago, resulting in Justin's current housekeeper/wanna-be love interest Sofie. That's right, Justin wants to get it on with his own daughter (whom he doesn't know is his daughter ... YET. Only his sister does). It hardly makes sense, since we have been led to believe that Justin was a kind, simple man brought up by a priest and his wife early in his life. Any violent act such as rape is completely out of character from what we've heard of a young Justin.
Justin's rise to Usher was also not the best job of editing I've ever seen. We see Justin surprising Scudder from the back of a car, cutting off his head with a sickle. The screen then flashes this weird red color (like a bad horror movie from the 50's) and we see the Usher holding up poor Scudder's head, collecting his boon. The scene took less than 3 seconds for everything to transpire. If you got up to get a drink, you missed it. I would have liked to have seen some sort of dialog from Scudder when he had to give Justin his boon.
If you haven't ever watched Carnivale, don't turn it on next week and expect to catch up on anything that is going on. You have to rent the DVD's and watch from the first episode on - at least 2-3 times each, to even get a general idea of everything that is happening. Show mailing lists are fruitless since you will get screamed at for saying anything negative about the show. BTW, if you ever need an example of an oppressive society which regulates how you should act, think and read, don't turn to Hitler's Germany or Stalin's Russia. Head on over to the Carnivale mailing list on Yahoo and sign up. The moderators make those two look as liberal as Ted Kennedy.

Shame Shame Hillary

2005-03-10T02:13:00.000-05:00

Just saw a picture on Drudge where Hillary Clinton is on the same podium (and not vomiting) as Rick Santorum. Has it really come to this Hillary? Are video games and television shows so bad for kids that you have to make a deal with the devil for some sort of political gain? Can you really look into satan's eyes with his amused grin and call him an advocate for anything good? Have some balls.

Here's the good news - Santorum WILL go down in 2006. No self-respecting Pennsylvanian can tell me one thing this homophobe has done for the good of his state. The guy doesn't even live in PA for Christ's sake. I lost some respect for Hillary today. It shows me she doesn't have the power to broker her own deals without having to buddy up with extreme GOP a-holes.

.Net portals too flimsy?

2005-03-09T02:03:00.000-05:00

I'm pretty shocked at the exception handling that all of these .Net portals have (or don't have). I guess what I'm more shocked at is how a little piece of formating code could shut down a whole site. Take this for instance: I didn't like the styles that Rainbow was giving me to present my RSS feeds, so I decided to hack my own out of their pre-built ones. I got it working the way I wanted, but thought the spacing of the

tag was just too much to have in the RSS feed display, so I changed it to
. Now, I admit I have no experience and no idea how to write XML (yet), but my site threw a fit and wouldn't load the page because I didn't write the
as
. So sorry Rainbow! One mistake on one XSL stylesheet pertaining to one module on a page should not bring down the whole site.
DotNetNuke and CSK also had their share of problems with simple mistakes that were almost impossible to find with the stack trace information it displayed. Maybe it's different for web programming, but I would never let a program crash this way because of bad input by the user. It sounds like there needs to be more Try..Catch blocks.